My first week of searching for work has yielded:

1) lots of time pouring over uncountable job listing websites
2) a considerable amount of time polishing both my resumes and remembering how to write cover letters
3) a discouragingly small amount of time actually sending in resumes (a grand total of two so far)
4) several headaches
5) several “discussions” (darn close to arguments) with my DH about how to spend my time – looking for work, working on the farm or maintaining the household. I’m happy to say those have mostly been resolved to both our satisfaction.
6) At least one letter back already saying that the most perfect job opening that I was delighted to find, has been postponed for no obvious reason, but they’ll keep my resume on file just in case.
7) More than one bout of intense discouragement. I’m happy to say those have eased off, at least for now.
8) At least one uncomfortable conversation with DH about various household and farm projects to put on hold until money improves. We got through it and generally have a working agreement in place.
9) A refreshing amount of time also spent working on those projects on the farm which will also increase income.
10) A lot of time in the garden at the end of each day. God bless gardens.

I still think that finding some additional work is the right thing to do for us for right now. But I have again come face to face with the realization that I can expend a lot of time on this effort, and not get anywhere. Nevertheless, I have to try. I have also come face to face with the realization that I need to pace myself in all things right now – looking for work, continuing to maintain the house, maintaining the farm and working on those farm income projects which are still on the list. Because I could every easily pour everything into this job search, exhaust myself, let the house and farm fall to pieces, and be in a mess in six months even if I do land a job.

For those folks looking for work too, I thought I remembered how tough it was but DANG. I didn’t remember all the angst. DH and I are both being very careful with each other right now because things are so fragile – new budgets, new understandings of the other person’s situation, and reaching for new solutions rather than falling back on old habits. I may not be online much this week thanks to all of this, but we’re still trundling on the DR path, one step at a time.