Category: money

I am ok admitting it:)

I really have never been a fan of teen parents, or of someone who cannot care for herself, much less a little one, my child isn’t excluded in that assessment.

Her mistake is life changing for all parties concerned and there is nothing wrong with admitting it. It’s a mistake which cannot be fixed, you just readjust life from this point on. I can cast the first stone at myself, hurts worse when you know it’s coming.

What gets me about these reports

Both in print and on the news is they always talk about the kids unemployment and financial problems. That is not always so. There can be a multitude of reasons for kids not only moving home, but staying home. Take our situation.<< You're right, though I am quick to judge (wrong on my part) and say most young adults are wimps, babys and purely spoiled rotten, that they want to sit around and play the wii while mom and dad foot the bills. Our situation is different too. Dd is on disability, one of the truely qualified people who is on issues with the heart and spine. Though she doesn't have to work to have some income (though it would be very low), she still does part-time at our church's preschool for several years now, and day-care before that. She pays rent/room/board which includes kitchen priviledges, though most of the time she eats meals I cook, which is fine. She pays most of her auto insurance as well. She is also paying us back for her car. Dd also purchases her own health and beauty, gas, hobby related items, clothing, etc. When going out to do things with friends, eat out, etc. she pays her own way. Dd is also responsible for keeping her room & bathroom cleaned & straightened up, doing her own laundry, helping with dishes after meals, etc. and any other general stuff we ask her to do in exchange for living here. Before hiring a housekeeper she was responsible for doing more for weekly cleaning. We do appreciate her telling us when she will not be home for supper. It just means that we can go ahead and eat without wondering if she'll be there. She is also good about telling us if she will be out, especially if it means she'll be gone for several hours at a time. If she wanted to move out, it would be okay with us but with housing costs around here, we would probably have to supplement her rent for her to be ina good neighborhood/apt. complex. Studios can rent for $800/month so it's not cheap. We do appreciate the help she gives us and is not much trouble.

Financial problems

What gets me about these reports both in print and on the news is they always talk about the kids unemployment and financial problems. That is not always so. There can be a multitude of reasons for kids not only moving home, but staying home. Take our situation.
Ds graduated college in 2000, with a degree in starvation. He had a job that covered his bills and little else. Then he lost that job and lived off his savings, charge cards etc while he looked for work for over six months. Meantime, here on the ranch dh was on mega overtime, and I was tending for FOUR family elders in various degrees (ie: 2 aunts—taking them for errands a couple of times a week and checking on them on the phone daily, dmil helping her deal with the recent death (at that time) of dfil and my grandmother which required daily visits and a lot more.
We were also running a thriving home based free range poultry and egg business that required a lot of time. Dh and I were stretched to the max both physically and emotionally. We had no idea ds was unemployed until he ended up in ER because he could no longer get his life saving asthma meds.
That near death experience was actually a good thing for us. Once we knew the facts the solution became very clear to us. We had been considering hiring a farm hand, ds needed a job. We moved him home that week. That was around 2002.
He found a job in Tulsa the very next day after he moved in and we thought as soon as he got back on his feet he’d move back out, but he’s still here and we are all happy about it for the most part. In 2002 his help on the farm and with the elders was so huge you cannot imagine. His job loss was our blessing.
You all know how much help he is here, how well he takes care of dh and myself. Truthfully I don’t know what we would do if he moved off property. He maintains his “apartment” upstairs, pays the utilities, buys groceries, pays for his own detergent, bills, health and beauty aids, buys ½ the feed, splits the cell phone bill and directv bill (he pays 1/3) with us, runs errands, hauls feed, cuts firewood, mows, and either cooks 1 meal a week or takes dh and I out to eat. He also has his own life and friends and if we can get past all the roadblocks we keep running into will have his own home before much longer. When dh retires and we want to hit the road he will be here to tend the animals and maintain the place.
Our long term plan is if he should marry he will take over the big house and we’ll move into his little house.
So you can see there is more than one side to generations living together.

Obviously, you need to do your budgets on the 40 hour week

If any overtime shows up, that’s a BONUS. But you can’t count on it anymore.
What’s the LOWEST amount you get for your pay? Use that amount for budgeting. Again, anything above that is a bonus to be thrown at whatever step you’re on.
Sounds like your situation changed, and you just didn’t adapt quickly enough. If your bills were $2000 per month and you were making $2200 per month, then you’d have some leeway. If your income has dropped to $1900, then you either need to drop your expenses to $1900, or increase your income by $100 somehow.
Again, it’s all mathematics – they don’t lie.