Category: finance

Hey, this is just the beginning

yes a mistake was made, but time will tell how good/bad the situation is. I think you are being a good mom by helping out and trying to readjust for all involved.

the mom I help out, she was 16 when she had her little one–the same age as my niece when she had her 1st. They are different like night and day. M is working, trying to educate herself and make a better life for their little family. baby girl was just over 2y when M asked for help–with no mother figure other than the daddy’s mom, she felt she needed guidance from someone she trusted.

My niece has 6 kids–3 different fathers, on her 2nd marriage and lives in the basement of her mom’s house with 9 other people. She has no motive to move on and move out. she is a 3rd generation teen mom and her oldest daughter is 4th generation. They just continue the cycle–little education, few job skills and no common sense.

My sister moved home with her two kids when she got a divorce

She has been employed on and off since then, but even when she had a great job, she was living there. It was supposed to be temporary, but her youngest has severe Autism and the idea of moving her and finding child care for her makes everything that much harder so she stays.

They say that it used to be the norm to have multiple generations living in one home and we got away from that for a while.

Financial problems

What gets me about these reports both in print and on the news is they always talk about the kids unemployment and financial problems. That is not always so. There can be a multitude of reasons for kids not only moving home, but staying home. Take our situation.
Ds graduated college in 2000, with a degree in starvation. He had a job that covered his bills and little else. Then he lost that job and lived off his savings, charge cards etc while he looked for work for over six months. Meantime, here on the ranch dh was on mega overtime, and I was tending for FOUR family elders in various degrees (ie: 2 aunts—taking them for errands a couple of times a week and checking on them on the phone daily, dmil helping her deal with the recent death (at that time) of dfil and my grandmother which required daily visits and a lot more.
We were also running a thriving home based free range poultry and egg business that required a lot of time. Dh and I were stretched to the max both physically and emotionally. We had no idea ds was unemployed until he ended up in ER because he could no longer get his life saving asthma meds.
That near death experience was actually a good thing for us. Once we knew the facts the solution became very clear to us. We had been considering hiring a farm hand, ds needed a job. We moved him home that week. That was around 2002.
He found a job in Tulsa the very next day after he moved in and we thought as soon as he got back on his feet he’d move back out, but he’s still here and we are all happy about it for the most part. In 2002 his help on the farm and with the elders was so huge you cannot imagine. His job loss was our blessing.
You all know how much help he is here, how well he takes care of dh and myself. Truthfully I don’t know what we would do if he moved off property. He maintains his “apartment” upstairs, pays the utilities, buys groceries, pays for his own detergent, bills, health and beauty aids, buys ½ the feed, splits the cell phone bill and directv bill (he pays 1/3) with us, runs errands, hauls feed, cuts firewood, mows, and either cooks 1 meal a week or takes dh and I out to eat. He also has his own life and friends and if we can get past all the roadblocks we keep running into will have his own home before much longer. When dh retires and we want to hit the road he will be here to tend the animals and maintain the place.
Our long term plan is if he should marry he will take over the big house and we’ll move into his little house.
So you can see there is more than one side to generations living together.

Call around –

some foresting companies will come in, chop the trees down, haul them away, AND pay you for it.
I found this out when we lived on 10 acres and had a tornado and our insurance agent suggested it.
The only thing is— the above said companies are looking for certain types of trees and enough to make it worth their while.
Just depends on what kind of wood is needed by the company.

Here’s wishing it works for you.