Category: bills

Linda, it might interest you to know that

I owe my existence to a college Christmas party where the strawberry daiquiris were so spiked with booze that my Mom couldn’t find her coat, let alone the door, a few hours later. I was born when she was 21 years old. She made mistakes with me and I sure as heck have made some doozies myself. But I do rather enjoy the idea that I exist. And despite some knock-down drag-out fights with my folks, and some ongoing disagreements about various and sundry, I adore them and they adore me and we’re usually pretty happy to have the others in our lives. You didn’t fail. Your daughter just took a hard right turn that you didn’t expect. Doesn’t mean your life or her life is over. Just means there’s another life in the mix now, and hopefully that blessed little child with be a constant wonder for you both. Even when she makes mistakes too.

Financial problems

What gets me about these reports both in print and on the news is they always talk about the kids unemployment and financial problems. That is not always so. There can be a multitude of reasons for kids not only moving home, but staying home. Take our situation.
Ds graduated college in 2000, with a degree in starvation. He had a job that covered his bills and little else. Then he lost that job and lived off his savings, charge cards etc while he looked for work for over six months. Meantime, here on the ranch dh was on mega overtime, and I was tending for FOUR family elders in various degrees (ie: 2 aunts—taking them for errands a couple of times a week and checking on them on the phone daily, dmil helping her deal with the recent death (at that time) of dfil and my grandmother which required daily visits and a lot more.
We were also running a thriving home based free range poultry and egg business that required a lot of time. Dh and I were stretched to the max both physically and emotionally. We had no idea ds was unemployed until he ended up in ER because he could no longer get his life saving asthma meds.
That near death experience was actually a good thing for us. Once we knew the facts the solution became very clear to us. We had been considering hiring a farm hand, ds needed a job. We moved him home that week. That was around 2002.
He found a job in Tulsa the very next day after he moved in and we thought as soon as he got back on his feet he’d move back out, but he’s still here and we are all happy about it for the most part. In 2002 his help on the farm and with the elders was so huge you cannot imagine. His job loss was our blessing.
You all know how much help he is here, how well he takes care of dh and myself. Truthfully I don’t know what we would do if he moved off property. He maintains his “apartment” upstairs, pays the utilities, buys groceries, pays for his own detergent, bills, health and beauty aids, buys ½ the feed, splits the cell phone bill and directv bill (he pays 1/3) with us, runs errands, hauls feed, cuts firewood, mows, and either cooks 1 meal a week or takes dh and I out to eat. He also has his own life and friends and if we can get past all the roadblocks we keep running into will have his own home before much longer. When dh retires and we want to hit the road he will be here to tend the animals and maintain the place.
Our long term plan is if he should marry he will take over the big house and we’ll move into his little house.
So you can see there is more than one side to generations living together.

Obviously, you need to do your budgets on the 40 hour week

If any overtime shows up, that’s a BONUS. But you can’t count on it anymore.
What’s the LOWEST amount you get for your pay? Use that amount for budgeting. Again, anything above that is a bonus to be thrown at whatever step you’re on.
Sounds like your situation changed, and you just didn’t adapt quickly enough. If your bills were $2000 per month and you were making $2200 per month, then you’d have some leeway. If your income has dropped to $1900, then you either need to drop your expenses to $1900, or increase your income by $100 somehow.
Again, it’s all mathematics – they don’t lie.